So, Jessa decided to take our recent disagreement to social media, posting that we had a fight and that she was "winning." She claimed she’d taken the car, hidden the keys, and essentially trapped me in my office because my motorbike wasn't working. She even bragged about how I’d have to experience the struggle of walking everywhere, just like she did before she got her license. Well, I’ve got a little secret: Jessa might think she won, but the facts tell a very different story.
First, let's talk about the car. She slept with the keys to make sure I couldn't use them, but here’s the thing—I have my office. It has food, and it has a bed on the second floor. I don’t need to go to her to have a place to sleep or eat. And as for the car itself? I let her have it full-time because of Liam. I’m not going to fight her for the keys when I know she needs to drive our son around.
Then there’s the motorbike. She told everyone I was stuck because it’s broken. In reality, it just needs a new carburetor. I could have spent the time cleaning the old one, but I’m not in a hurry. I just ordered a new part for 700 pesos, and I’ll fix it when it arrives. Until then, I’m perfectly fine. And that walking she saw me doing? I wasn't walking because I had to; I was walking because I’m dieting and need the exercise! After eight months of sitting in front of a computer, getting my body moving again feels great.
What Jessa is experiencing is something I’ve recently learned a name for: Tampo. It’s a local term for a kind of childish, silent-treatment behavior that happens a lot here. I’ve told her before that I don’t accept this kind of behavior from an adult. So, how do I deal with it? I have no mercy. I don't try to explain things over and over. I simply leave her be.
While she was in "Tampo mode," I actually had a very productive time. It was the perfect opportunity for some "me time," which I really value since I’m not as social as most people here. I used the quiet time to start a massive job of cleaning up all the old articles on my website. If we hadn't been fighting, I never would have been able to put in those long, uninterrupted hours of work. In a way, her "Tampo" was a gift to my productivity.
My strategy for reconciling is simple: I stay away longer than her "Tampo" period lasts. I know Jessa well, and I know exactly when she’s had enough and is ready to be done with the drama. I wait for that moment, give her a hug, and it’s over. Just yesterday, we were out having dinner together like nothing happened, and today we even went shopping in Oslob.
To any other foreigners dealing with this: it’s common, it’s childish, but it’s part of the journey. Don't let it ruin your day. Do what I do—use the time for yourself, get some work done, and wait for the storm to pass. Jessa is young, and I expect this behavior to fade as she grows as a person, but for now, I’ve learned how to handle it without losing my peace of mind.
She might have told the world she won, but I got my work done, I got my exercise, and I stayed perfectly relaxed. So, who really won the fight? Thanks for watching this little "behind the scenes" of our relationship, and I'll see you in the next one!
